Got To Give God The Glory

..and I kinda left that out of my other post. Here's the important part:

God has been so gracious and faithful to me this past year. He has provided when I didn't know how He would do it. He has blessed me beyond anything that I could have asked for, and it's still comin'! He has been so gentle and taught me so much. And He's opened doors like I never would have thought possible.

And more than anything over this year, I'm thankful for the Love of God. No matter what else happens or where I find myself or with whom, doing whatever, His love covers me, and that will ALWAYS be good enough. And it always has :)

Thank you, Lord, for making this a spectacular year! :D

<3

Last Day of 2009

So tomorrow begins 2010. Golly. Not that long ago, 2010 seemed like so far away. It still kinda does, you know? I don't even know if I can keep track of this whole last year. Alot of people recap and commemorate at the end of the year, but that's always been a little hard for me. There are just so many directions, you know? Anyway..

What I CAN do is look forward. I've never much been one for New Year's resolutions, just because it seems whenever a New Year's resolution is made, it's already expected to be broken. But here are some goals, if you will. Things that I want to aim towards, directions that I want to move in.

I want to be more organized. Not that I'm disorganized; I keep track of things pretty well, mind you. But I would like to get into the habit of writing things down and checking my organizer regularly. That starts today.

This is sort-of like being more organized. I want to sit down and write out a specific budget for myself each month, and stick to it. I work on a pretty general budget right now that consists mostly of Get bills paid first, and Don't spend money I don't have. While that keeps me from getting in too much trouble, it doesn't do so well for saving money. So yeah. That too :)

I would like to have my car and student loan paid off and be working actively in the theatre field by the end of 2010. It looks like that's going to start with taking a semester off after all, working as much as possible, and just getting business done. (And eating lots of ramen in the meantime.) I also want to make a habit of working freelance modeling and film gigs (as an extra, or whatever). Just to get out there and broaden my scope a bit :)

Along somewhat of the same lines, I would like to have produced at least 3 music videos by the end of the year. Even if they don't end up going any farther than youtube, I need to start making something.

It is also my goal to have made at least one piece of furniture by the end of the year. I want furniture-making to be a long-term hobby of mine, so I've got to get started sometime.

Road Trip!! I WILL take at least one road trip this year. Even if I just drive to Tulsa or something equally as lame (Christmastime is the only time driving to Tulsa is not lame), I WILL go SOMEWHERE with SOMEBODY. Honestly, if you don't live life while you're in college, when are you going to live it?

I want to become actively and regularly involved at Northstar. This isn't something new; I've been wanting to. So far though, my schedule's been a little bossy and just going to church is about all I've managed. I would like for that to change.

I would like to set a 5-year plan for myself. Now, I'm giving myself a whole year to come up with a loose plan for the next 5 years of my life. Or at least establish where I'd like to be in 5 years. I think that's pretty darn lenient, myself. So I better get it done.

Last but not least: (well, maybe least. This one's really not all that important. lol): by the end of 2010, I would like to be able to get a puppy :) I would like for my schedule and budget to be such that I can comfortably have a puppy. Yup :)

So there's my list, for now. I'd be happy to take comments and suggestions,if you have any!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! :D

I need a job that doesn't entail a view of the stars on my way into work :/

For real. More job hunting today... gonna go put apps in at like a dozen different Starbucks in the Plano area. Looking at applying at Northpark and Firewheel malls too. Firewheel's not all that close to my apt or school, true, but I can always crash at Mark's if I need to, and if nothing else I could have a job there while I keep looking for a better one that's actually in Plano. I'm realllly hoping Destani calls me back about a nutrition coach position that I was almost offered but I couldn't start immediately. But now I can start immediately... just hoping it's not too late >_< ..If only I hadn't been under contract for Plaid at the time... but oh well. All things work together for the GOOD of those who love God. It's a good thing I did have that gig, or it would've been alot harder to make ends meet this month. Praise the Lord.
Anyway, be praying for me and my new employment, and soon! AND, I also want to hurry up and get the employment situation resolved so that I can a) start working out again, and b)start working on getting smaller gigs like photoshoots and Movie Extra gigs :)

Lord help me!

so yeah, this is what's been on my mind, mostly. Other than that there's New Year plans, which look like theyre not going to be all THAT exciting. But as long as I get to spend it with Mark I suppose I don't really care what we do. Thursday Jon Christie has a show of some sort that Lindsey wants me to go to. Well, we'll see. Also Uncle Matt and Aunt Jeanne and attached cousins are coming into town for New Years. Why, I have no earthly idea, but cool :) It'll be good to see them... hopefully I'll have the chance to bring Mark around for a dinner or something. I wonder if he gets tired of me dragging him over to my parents' house for such things. lol.
I get paid in two days, and none too soon. This traffic ticket has been at the back of my mind, and it's a tad expensive. Lord help me with that, too, please.

hmmm, what else? I haven't been all that productive lately to tell the truth. Everything else is kind of on the back burner until I find a job. Mark's been writing his book though, and that's exciting. :) It'll be the first one he's completed. And it's sounding really good so far :)

I get to see my roomie tonight! Probably not for very long, granted, 'cause I'll be freakin tired, but whatever. I get to see her and that makes me happy.

Oh, why aren't there 30 hours in a day?

Don't Save It All for Christmas Day

What a lovely holiday :)

true, I didn't get to go caroling, and I'm a tad short on cash, but it was still an absolutely lovely holiday. I got to see friends, and family, and movies. lol. I kindof don't have the energy to go into great detail, although I probably should.

I've got alot to do in recovery though. Tons of laundry, and cleaning up.. I need to get back into shape. I'm still on the hunt for new employment.Once I have that established I can register for classes... I'm really hoping I don't have to take this semester off :/ There's a bit of a time crunch, but with the Lord's help, it can be done! :)

Merry Christmas.. Happy New Year. etc. etc.

What starts with an F and ends with a Y, besides "Fungleberry?"

the answer is FRIDAY!!! And praise the Lord, what a beautiful Friday it is! I think maybe I will spend some time out-of-doors today. It'll do me some good :) If it's sunny that is. I've been wanting to get some sunshine all week.
I also think that I will take a nap today! that sounds abso-friggin-lutely wonderful. And I've got nothing that I "need" to get done, other than laundry and wrapping presents :)

I'm excited for the weekend. I've got so much to look forward to, so much is happening and it's all funnn! ^_^ Of course it'll be busy too, but not overwhelming. And Mark is going to church with me on Sunday for our FIRST Sunday in our NEW BUILDING!! :D

I finished the first Harry Potter book. It was quite good, truth be told. And now that I've finished it, I really want to read the second one. Like, now that I'm one book in, I feel like I'm genuinely at a loss for not knowing the rest of the series. But not to worry.. that will shortly be remedied. ^_^

what is it about this week that has taken so darn long? every day felt stretched, and by the time we got to Wednesday it felt like it should really be at least Friday. seriously. This week has just been unruly slow. It's all good though. It makes Friday that much sweeter :) (though I will say, I'm ready to go home any time. work is pretty slow today too.)

Pictures tomorrow! yayy. I hope I have my coat back by then.. >_>

Come on, weekend!

And... Action!

So I mentioned that I had an audition for a tv pilot..
it went well, I suppose. I don't know if I was really intense enough for them... it's a giving-birth scene. I've never given birth >_>
But anyway, here's hopin' still... They'll let me know this weekend-ish.

So camera acting is way different from stage acting. Harder, for me. Here's why: it's alot more cold work. You have to be able to just pick up wherever and make it the same as if you'd already been in the scene 5 minutes. That's harder for me because I'm an interpersonal actor-- I play off of the other people in the scene. In fact, most of my acting is REacting. It's all in the relationship and interaction between characters. In camera acting.. you don't get the whole play to build up character relationships and motivations.. It just kindof has to be there, whether you or the other person is feeling it or not. So it's.. different. But I think with a little practice I could get good at it :)

There's so much more going on, but I gotta do some work now... so you'll just have to do without :p

Happy Wednesday! :D

<3

So I called in to work on friday. Took a personal day. And it was sooo nice. I needed it. I went back to bed, which I've always wanted to do when I don't feel like going to work. lol. I slept in, and then went and had lunch with Mark at his work. Which entailed being stared at by a bunch of little kids and being asked, "Are you Coach Mark's girlfriend??" with really big eyes and lots of giggles whenever I answer that or any other question, like how old am I? lol. It was alot of fun. I can see why he adores those kids so much, really. And as far as I can tell they all liked me as much as I liked them.. bar one. There's one little girl, Sierra. She's one of Mark's favorites, and she has a HUGE crush on him. So, being that I'm his girlfriend, she was NOT happy to see me. Not at all. XD. I probably shouldn't have enjoyed it so much, but I'll admit I was a little smug, in a that's-right-girlfriend-he's-alllll-mine-and-you-know-it kind of way. I know it's silly but especially since she's one of Mark's favorites, I'd rather she knew her place. Which is NOT his girlfriend. :) Anyway.
After that, went shopping, got some errands done, and did a show that night. After the show we had a movie night at Mark's house and I got to hang out with GREY who I love and miss terribly ^_^.

Did I mention the shopping part? Did I also mention that I bought new jeans... in a size 2?? I was (am) pretty darn happy about this, since I haven't worn size 2 since my sophomore year in high school. Almost 5 years ago. I feel good ^_^

The rest of the weekend was quite pleasant... errands and family time and shows and hanging out and shows... lovely :) I'm looking forward to having a little more downtime soon hopefully... But even still. Lovely :)

And I have an audition today for a tv pilot... we'll see how that goes >_>

<3

Blizzard Would Be Great..

I have officially been at work for over a half hour and done nothing more than attempt to not snooze... somewhat unsuccessfully.

Dear Texas,
I would love you forever if you would burst into sudden blizzard, so the roads would freeze and no one would come to work and I could go home and go to sleep. That would be lovely.

I would love to tell something... But I don't actually have anything to say. Seems to be my situation as of late :/ Oh, well. I'll come back when there's something to tell.

<3

I've decided to donate the proceeds from my caroling adventures to St Jude's. And, possibly, to people who are on my heart. I happen to know, for example, of a couple of families whose sole providers are currently out of work. I would love to be able to bless them with something that will help them out, you know? :)

Speaking of blessings, we got our Christmas bonuses yesterday ^_^ I've never got a Christmas bonus before... probably because I've never had a "business job" before. One of the pluses to working a desk job I suppose. But anyway, I'm very much grateful :) Thank you Jesus!

So I'm working a couple of extra shows, this Sunday night and next Sunday night. Betty Buckley is going to be at Water Tower doing a holiday show. I'm missing an Underoath concert to see Betty Buckley -.- ...but I'm getting paid for it, so it's all good, right? lol. :p

Can't wait to finally get this silly British Lit final exam over and done with already. Ugh. The longer I go the more I basically just don't care anymore. As long as I pass the class and never have to deal with it again... I don't care. Bah Humbug.

:D

Jacob's back from his honeymoon. yay :) work is always more exciting when he's here.

Happy news: I do get to see The Boxer after all! They have a Saturday matinee this week and I don't, so you better believe I am THERE!! :D And I'm kinda excited.

Can I just say, I am a huge fan of Christmas music. Especially the kind that involves full choirs and/or violins and/or woodwinds of any kind. Yes. Win. I want to go caroling. I wish I were in a choir so that I could go caroling with a full choir lol. Actually, you know what I really want to do? I want to get a group together who can harmonize, like four or five people who can pull of carols well... maybe not professionals or anything, but well enough to sound nice and pretty... and go door-to-door caroling and raising money for a charity. That is what I really want to do. What better way to spread the spirit of the season? If only I could find the time and people and place to go... and if I could find a charity to do it for..... I think I'm gonna try :) And if I do it, I'd love to do it in costume ^_^ And if I can pull it off.. or maybe even if I can't pull it off this year... I'd like to make it an annual thing. :)

My laundry is in a rather desperate condition. Lol. I'm to the point where I'm rewearing my clothes :/
Guess I know what I'll be doing on my study breaks tonight :p

Speaking of study breaks, I now have two days left to somehow prepare myself for this British Lit final :/
I think I've pretty much given up on doing a research paper for extra credit and settled on writing poems or illustrations instead. The only good way I can think to do illustrations, though, is with paint... and I don't really have the supplies to do that. I suppose I could make a costume... Idk if Rasnic would accept that, though. For all his big talk about creativity and whatnot, he's kindof a square :/

Mmmm, coffee :)
Let's make my next job one that does not start before 7 am, eh? Unless it's Starbucks, in which case I will keep my insanity and still get up early. If I must. :p

Have I mentioned that I am SO ready to be done with my classes for this semester? I am SOOO ready. Then I can REALLY jump headlong into the holidays :D

Plaid Boxer Briefs

Well.. not a whole lot going on in this neck of the woods. I've been at work for half an hour and taken all of one phone call.

Plaid Tidings opened last night, and so did The Boxer. Plaid went fine, and Mark wasn't quite raving, but Boxer did well too :) So afterwards we went to IHOP to celebrate. It was alright.. IHOP was about as it usually is... lol.
I'm really proud of Mark :) This was his first college show... the second one that he auditioned for, and he got cast without a second thought.

I wonder when the next time I'll have the chance will audition will be?
I did really want to audition for Little Women... but I don't know if I'll have the time to do shows while working next semester. Most likely I'll need to work nights, so it will be hard to do any shows, really. I guess I can put up with that... It'll give me the chance to get a bunch of classes knocked out, and that I am excited about.
Lord, help me.. I need Your help with this whole business. There's no way I can figure out how to make this all work together in a 168-hr week, let alone pull it off by myself. But I trust You to show me how to do it, and to help me with it. It's gonna be an adventure...

So I want to talk about something that's on my mind a little bit... I don't generally talk about super personal stuff on my blog, but it's my blog so I will if I want.
I get this feeling, that my family doesn't like Mark very much. And you honestly, that's not even it. I think they like him fine (because there isn't a reason not to like him :)... but they judge him. I don't even think they realize that they do.. and I don't really know why they judge him, other than that he doesn't speak in tongues... and he's not Collin. The reasons, for current intents and purposes, are immaterial. The real thing that bothers me is, I've felt like my family and I have been increasingly distant in recent months, and I can't help but think that maybe this has something to do with it. Yes, I have spent alot of time with Mark. And that's not going to change. We're in a relationship. We're an item, a package deal. We're together. I'm not saying I never do anything without him or visa versa, not at all. But the point is, I'm with Mark. You don't get me without him. Even if you are my family. Even if my family disapproved of Mark (which there isn't a reason to, to be quite honest) it's really not their choice to make. They ought to accept him, for my sake. Or if they can't do that, they ought to at least show love to him, for Christ's sake. If Mark were to judge all "Spirit-filled Christians" based on how he's been treated by my family thus far, he would say that they're really no different from any other people who have their own lives and plenty of reservations about new people. Courteous and aloof, they're fine people, but honestly, nothing life-changing. And that kinda makes me sad. But what can you do?

Alrighty well... now I've been here about an hour, and I'm getting another call. Jusst can't stop the excitement! :p
<3

So. Tired.
SOOOOO so so so so so so sleepy.

It was a struggle this morning to not roll over and go back to sleep. I won said struggle of course, and made it to work before my eyes followed through on their threat to be closed periodically :/

Preview night for Plaid was last night... opening night tonight :) nap before British lit today instead of studying for quiz? I think so. Yes, I think so.

My hair is grungy today. Can't decide if I like it or not.

gotta.. stop.. dosing... zzzZZZZZzZ

It's SNOWING!!!

That calls for excessive punctuation!!!!! Yayyy!!!!! ^_^ :D XD :))) ^_^ !!!!!

and, while the ground is still mostly slush, it's sticking enough to make things white and pretty. and the flake and decent sized and fluffy, and flurrying in the wind... just perfect for catching with your tongue! I hope this keeps up all day so I can make a snow angel at lunch ^_^
Except the snow is still really wet so then my backside will be wet all day :/ ...probably not worth it.
OH, I'm so excited! I'm like a little kid all over again when there's snow.

I can't even think of anything else to blog about because it's SNOWING outside. How on earth am I supposed to get work done INSIDE? That's just ridiculous. Why ever would anyone want to be inside at a time like this?? I think I will take my lunch break OUTSIDE ^_^
Oh goodness I'm so excited!!!

Across the Embers

so the other day I had a freakout. Partly it's from being tired and stressed a bit, and having a lot on my mind, getting antsy about life and its decisions and what I'm doing, and things being all hit-and-miss with the family... All this contributes... not that it's an excuse.
Basically this stupid freakout consisted of me feeling a bit neglected and under-appreciated when my plans went all whatever on me because nobody was doing what I thought they were doing. So I got all emo about it and when Mark asked me what was wrong, because he cares, I totally threw a fit and made it seem like it was all his fault that I was unhappy. Why I did that.. I don't even know. But it will NEVER happen again. Anyway, so that was a nasty exchange, and then Mark was out so he wasn't on his phone for awhile so I spent that while freaking out thinking that I had messed things up bad. Turns out he just wasn't on his phone, and we talked when he got back and everything was fine. I really can't tell you how thankful I am that he puts up with me. Really.


Well alright, back to work. I really meant to write some more meaningful, this-is-how-i-feel-about-life-right-now stuff, but it's early yet, and I ought to be making some sort of progress on my assignments at work.

9 days left until I'm free of freaking British Literature.(!!!)