so much going on

man
there's so much happening with me right now... i guess i'll just start delving as things come to me

well, collin and i are taking a break. things have not been going so very well lately, and neither of us knows how to solve it. there are some things that he needs in a wife that he doesnt see in me right now, and there are some things that i need in a husband that i don't see in him. only God can grow these things in us, and there's no point in trying to change ourselves or eachother, so i'm not going to. If God has destined us to be together then we will be, i have no doubt. but the simple fact that i find myself using the word "if" is reason enough for me to call a whoa nelly and take a step back for a little while.
i think it'll be good for both of us. we're in two different places living two different lives right now and we both of us have plenty on our plates to focus on.

speaking of a plate filled to thanksgiving dinner proportions, i have just officially agreed to work crew on Collin County's upcoming production of "Big River". i'm so excited!! i've never worked crew before ^_^ so basically all of my evenings will now be occupied with rehearsals. add that to my work schedule and classes and lab hours i'm already working and suppose i can get some homework, eating and sleeping done in between and we're looking at anywhere from 17 to 20 hour days for the next month. i'm so excited!!!! oh man but when spring break rolls around you better believe i'll be ready for it. but until then, i'm totally psyched. i can feel myself going into workaholic mode already. i'll have to be careful though, i think. i've discovered that i can pretty much go without eating much or go without sleeping much. neither is healthy but for an allotted time period i'm obliged to consider them acceptable sacrifices. i've found though, that going without a sufficient amount of at least one of these for any more than 48 hours simply does not work, and results in an uncomfortable perpetual nausea. no bueno. so i'll have to be careful about that.

the other thing i'll have to be careful about is not letting my Word time slip. this will be both easier and harder... easier because every hour of my day will probably have to be planned and scheduled if i'm going to get things done so i'll have to schedule Word time. harder because i already know i'll be sorely tempted to spend that time snoozing.

some guy just came in to roots and asked something about a discount for recycled cups or whatever... gah. at this time of day i'm awake purely out of habit. and when i'm in that state and you throw something at me that's out of the routine, you get a deer-in-headlights look. it just happens. don't break my zombie functionality if you want good coffee.

there's more but this is already long and i gotta get back to work. tala.

oh yeah! got my ear pierced ^_^ it looks really good but still pretty sore. i'm not worried though, we had to put two different sized needles through like 6 times to get the piercing right and abuse my ear even more to get the earring in properly. so it might take a little longer to heal than your average piercing. but i'm so excited! i want one, maybe two more piercings in my ears and then i'm done putting holes in them. probably. anyway, there's a pic up on my facebook in my mobile uploads album. check it out :D

<3

absence makes the heart grow fonder... or forgetful

There's a car that passes here
every day and it looks just like yours
there's a man that i see
on the street and he looks just like you
then the radio plays and all the songs
sound like ours but theyre not
they all just keep on their way

if absence makes the heart grow fonder
then why is it so hard to remember?

There's someone here who's nothing like you
and he looks my way when you're not around
the way i wish you would sometimes
and he smells nothing like the way you do
so i hold my breath until my cheeks turn blue
it's hurting us to be so far from you

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
but it's got nothing to do with life
nothing to do with love
so how do you face the truth
when it's staring you down from all sides
over your shoulder, on the left, on the right
which way is our next move?

the distance between us
it isn't just miles and it's getting farther
the longer we stay
it's turbulent and this only gets harder
we'll follow our hearts
to the end of the world but life gets in the way
it slows us down and holds us up
and baby it's okay. baby, it's okay.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
but it's got nothing to do with life
nothing to do with love
so how do you face the truth
when it's staring you down from all sides
over your shoulder, on the left, on the right
it's make a step or fold

baby it'll be okay
some things are more important than us
maybe it won't be tonight
but we'll be together when the finish line comes
it'll be alright
some things are more important than us.

<3

discipline, structure, whip these kids into shape!

so tiffanie and i are starting a new workout schedule. mon/wed/fri/sat, one hour a day, four days a week. this way she'll look hott for akon and i'll look hott for don juan in chicago auditions :p

but yeah. working out with someone else usually works out better. for one, you have to plan to do it ahead of time, make time for it and purpose to stick to the workout. then there's the accountability. if i just take the day off, tiffanie will know and give me crap about it
and i always go harder on myself when someone else is there. it's a competitive thing, i think. i'll be there to push her harder, and she'll be there to push me harder.. sortof :p

this saturday is valetines day :D
excitement anyone??

oh yeah. and i'm putting another piercing in my right ear. this one's gonna be pretty cool. i was going to have it done yesterday, but just as i was about to have sarah do it my mom was like "oh you should have told me, i would have brought you some local anesthetic" ehh?? so i put it off until tomorrow. honestly, what's another couple of days when i have the option of having abolutely no feeling in my ear while a 22g hole is punched through it? mostlyi'm just being a baby because the last piercing i got was in a very sensitive spot and it hurt rather bad. this piercing i doubt will be nearly as sensititive but it is in a somewhat unusual part of the cartilage, so it can't hurt to be cautious. lol

<3

songs of the season

man
some pretty good songs out that i've stumbled across lately

taylor swift's "love story", while quite mainstream, is an exceptional song. i really enjoy it

"lucky", a duet with colbie callait. it's pretty good too

also, the tribute song "Gran Torino" .... youtube it. it's good.

there's another one i'm leaving out. i guess if and when i recall i'll come back and add it in.

<3

escape by the sea

sitting on the water's edge, watching
as the sky turns to soft rose
and sets itself ablaze

and the wind blows straight through me
my hair, my clothes, the spaces between my toes
the crashing of the waves drowns everything out.

the city is behind me
and for this moment
all i have to see is water, and sky

the sun and the wind battle for me
the wind keeps me cold and restless
the sun keeps me burning

where is the adventure to my fairytale?
how did i get the ending without the story
there is the destination, but where is the journey?

I've been here before
and ran away then
do i run away now?

am i the wave that crashes and recedes
changing, bubbling
splashing innocent bystanders

Or am i the rocks on the shore
constant in spite of the weather
watching in stillness as life happens around me

i am neither

i am the girl sitting above them both
losing herself amidst them both
shivering into the sunglow on her face

i am the girl whose hair flies with the sea breeze
who writes songs to sing to the tides
and at the end of the day returns to her life

no escape is forever
every sunset fades to dusk
every golden glow fades to a pale silver

and every girl who watches must still live her life

but there is always another water's edge
another sunset to warm her feet
and breeze to steal away her thoughts
before the world comes unbound.

<3

he wants to try the roulette

i'm watching rain man
it's interesting

tom cruise's girlfriend just kissed dustin hoffman
beautiful moment :p