needs a bit more editing?

i think i might trim/rearrange/tweek these lyrics a bit more before i'm finished with them, but let me know what you think
i was listening to a song on the radio the other day, and the words were quite brilliant... the music was good too, but there was a lack of conviction in the performance that bothered me. like it was something that was huge to the guy at one point in time, but it had gotten dull, or maybe just lost some of the fervor, or the impact that it had when he wrote it out of that revelation. and i can't tell you how many times that happens with a song you sing over and over, or how hard it is to remember the hundredth time what it meant the first time. so i wrote a song about it. the jury's still out on this one though, so let me know what you think.

It was one of those times when I
was feeling so inspired
One of those times when I
was falling in love
One of those times when I
was lost in your eyes
and I swore
that I'd never let it go
Tell me when did my promise
become a memory
And why does my song feel like
just words I have to sing
when once upon a time
this dance was more than steps for my feet...

It was one of those times when
the world was on fire
and cities blazed to celebrate life
but somewhere in between
the passion and the recreation
I thought it was somehow about me
and i stopped hearing the dream
So tell me when did this moment
become just a minute
and when did these hearts become
a crowd for me to please
when once upon a time,
your voice and mine was all I'd ever need
(until I stopped hearing the dream)

I never want to stop feeling
Never want to stop meaning
Going through the motions
was never enough for me
I never want to act like I believe
(repeat)

I don't want to talk about you
forget about talking to you
I don't want to pretend to be real
I won't talk of when you found me
and forget about when I found you
I won't let go of what you do

yeah..... actually, i'm a little unsure about the melody on this one. i really like the way i hear it in my head, but at the same time, ihave to admit i had "This Is Me" from Disney's Camp Rock in my head a good portion of the time i was writing it sooooo... idk. i'm not sure i trust that :p

but yeah
i would love feedback, if you would deign to give it

<3

a bit overdue

ok
so it's halfway through the first week of classes, and i havent written anything about it yet. i guess i oughta... lol

so i'm taking intro to logic... which is basically philosophy. ugh. i wish it were straight logic but you dont get straight anything with philosophers. they think they're God's replacement. ...nuff said about that one.. i don't want to get started
next up: Physics. algebra-based, which is def good for me. i dont do that calculous nonsense. my physics prof is indian, and she's got a pretty thick accent. ironically enough though, she put us in groups of 4. two of the people in my group are brother and sister, and theyre half indian half british. the other guy is full indian but also hold dual citizenship in england. what are the odds? theyr'e really cool though, they make the class bearable.
Physics lab is nothing to write home about. hopefully the last lab i have to endure though. i'm in the same group for the lab.. good times
then i have into to lighting. definitely the class i'm most interested in this semester, and i think it might also prove to be the hardest. lol. well we'll see. theatre (more irony) doesn't come as easily to me as everything else. but i can't wait. gonna learn how to make magic ;)
the other classes are government and english. well, composition actually. bleh. nothing to write home about there. my govt prof is probably just as opinionated as the afore-mentioned philosopher. i'll survive.

welllll...
i had in mind to write more, but i'm kindof tired now... i think i'm gonna go finish up some lyrics. goodnight all

p.s.
i can't wait until i have a mac and can start making music videos. i wrote another one today ^_^

and the search continues

*sigh*
so we (my parents and i) have been looking for a car for me most of the weekend. We've come across a few prospective possibilities but nothing that really hits the spot. please be praying that we find the right one soon! the sooner i have a means of transportation of my own, the easier life will be for everyone :)
i already have a name for it and everything.... just gotta find the car.

in other news, i put my posters and such up on the walls in my room today. i had kept them in a box in the attic all summer because i expected to be moving out again this month. but since i'm gonna be here for a little while now i might as well decorate. so i've got a few posters... one with all the names of Christ, a Disciple poster, one from a play i did awhile back, poster of capt. jack sparrow... a few elvis pictures, some pics of me and my friends/family, pages from this prayer manual that i had when i was leading the prayer ministry at paradigm.. a few happy bunny posters, and of course my dry-erase board and my elvis calendar ^_^
i feel a little more at home now :p

i didn't go to the night of worship at lakeshore tonight.... now i kindof wish i had. man, i'm hungry for some serious worshipping. i've got alot weighing on my mind and beneath it all, all i really want to do is have some good time with the Lord. not that i can't do that in my own bedroom with just me and Jesus.... in fact i think that's what i'm about to go do. still, i think perhaps i ought to have gone tonight. hummm :/

well. school starts tomorrow. i'm totally caught off-guard this time, lol. it doesnt feel like i should be going back to school just now and i pretty much dont feel ready for it. been awhile since i had these particular feelings.. :p
goodnight all (all being like probably two that actually read this. lol) no verse today.. go read the Word and get one for yourself. have a brilliant night!

<3

patient heartbreak

wrote this song a couple months ago now. cant wait to record it ^_^

it's called Patient Heartbreak:

Chin up little girl
let those tears fall proudly
testify against those lies
you won't let yourself believe
dont take it personal
he never says what he means
hold onto the love underlying
we'll all get over it soon

just one more little outburst
one more piece of anger taken out on you
just one more broken teardrop
shattered consolation says there's nothing new

chin up little girl
dont let them make you feel small
you dont have to stand up and man up
just to meet their unspoken challenge
we wont take it personal
we know they don't say what they mean
so we hold onto love undying
close our eyes and forget the world

just one more little outburst
one more piece of anger taken out on you
just one more broken teardrop
shattered consolation says theres nothing new

fold your hands and wait
a better day, a better life is just moments away
hold your breath and wait
healing for a broken heart is just a prayer away

one more little outburst
one cry to reach heavenly ears
one more broken teardrop
caught by a love that softens and heals
(heals my heart)

fold your hands and wait
a better day, a better life is just moments away
hold your breath and wait
healing for a broken heart is just a prayer away

...
so the concept is a little barlow girl-esque... idk. it came from something that's been really big in my life though, so maybe that why i like this one so much. that and the awesome music it goes with that collin wrote :p
so yeah. hopefully many more completed works to come



<3

Another Lesson from the Father

(this pic of pc and me was taken over a year ago, just after i graduated high school)
So i went to paradigm last night, to hear pastor chris speak. man....
worship was so amazing.. it was so sweet and the presence of God was all over...
ever since the SW believers convention, it's like i've been at least 5x more sensitive to the spirit of God. i hear His voice more clearly, i follow His leading more easily, and i've felt His presence more literally than ever. like a thickness in the air, or just.. idk i cant think of any better word than just presence, all over me. i love it. it's a closeness and a fellowship that i've never had before... and it's also been so challenging and so so humbling.
now, i mention the sw believers convention.. i'm not trying to pump up the conference or anything like that. it was definitely a powerful experience and God moved and worked big time at this conference, but it wasnt about the conference itself. it could have been any other gathering of strong believers annointed to teach and receive and willing to be obedient to the Lord. no, it wasnt the convention itself, and i definitely want to reiterate that. there will be no idolizing of people or events. but that was the time and the place where God did a huge work in me, and empowered me, and basically changed my life forever. wooo!

so last night, pastor chris was talking about submiting, about saying yes to God. i think his message was more broadly aimed at those who werent submiting to God's call on their life, or werent doing what they knew they should be doing. Praise the Lord i've made the commitment to follow God with everything i've got and ill never look back so i'm not really in either of those categories. as he was giving the alter call though, i was praying God, if there's anything in my life that i havent submitted to you, please show me. and you know what He showed me? the several times in the past several days that He's nudged me to go spend some extra time in the Word. and most of these times i shrugged it off like a chore that i didnt want to do with a "i'll get to it later" because i didnt feel like it just at that moment (even though truthfully, i had nothing better to do). and so i recognized that that was not submitting, so i repented. as soon as i repented, God said "you know, i don't ask you to do things just to assign you extra chores. I want you in the Word so the I can speak to you." i was like, "oh. ok... that makes sense." lol
i kinda felt a bit like a little kid.. but hey isn't that the point? lol.

today's verse is actually a quote

"Never get too used to God. When we get used to God we start to put Him in a box"
-Pastor Chris Frith
(i hope that's a direct quote... if it's not it's at least the right idea. yeah)

<3

Superchick

If I Get Up

i'm not afraid to fall
it means i climbed up high
to fall is not to fail you fail when you don't try
i'm not afraid to fall
i might just learn to flyand i will spread these wings of mine

if i get up i might fall back down again
so lets get up come on
if i get up i might fall back down again
we get up anyway
if i get up i might fall back down again
so lets get up come on
if i get up i might fall back down again
and i might fall back down again
and we'll just jump and see
even if its the 20th time
we'll just jump and see if we can fly

i'm not afraid to fall and here i told you so
don't want to rock the boat
but i just had to know
just a greener side
or can i touch the sky
but either way i will try

if i get up i might fall back down again
so lets get up come on
if i get up i might fall back down again
we get up anyway
if i get up i might fall back down again
so lets get up come on
if i get up i might fall back down again
and i might fall back down

i'm not afraid to fall
i've fallen many times
they laughed when i fell down
but i have dared to climb
i'm not afraid to fall
i know i'll fall againbut i can win this in the end

and we'll just jump and see
even if its the 40th time
we'll just jump and see if we can fly

<3

Say the Words

by DC Talk:

Solomon once wrote:
Better is open rebuke, than hidden love
So say the words...

Silence is golden but these are the words
That the world needs to hear
[brothers and sisters]
Terms of compassion will cause a reaction
As love drives them near
But still we choose to hide behind the face of pride
Pretending we are blind to the calling
This is my point and case, if hate can be erased
With such a simple phrase, why are we stalling?

(chorus)
Say the words, say the words, say I love you
Say the words I long to hear
Say the words, say the words, say I love you
Say the words I long to hear

Ya gotta say it, ya gotta say it, say it
Ya gotta say it, ya gotta say it

Some just assume we already know
Of the love that they feel
[brothers and sisters]
Some have a heartfelt emotion
But never the words to reveal
I think we all relate, so why are we afraid
To let our hearts convey what were feeling?
There is a world in need with hungry souls to feed
And love can intercede if were willing, so...

(repeat chorus)

Ya gotta say it, ya gotta say it, say it
Ya gotta say it, ya gotta say it

[check this out]
The word love, well it was once overused
Back in the 70s the word was abused
But I refuse to let love be diluted
We cant allow physical lust to intrude it
Or pollute it cause there aint no excuse
For the greatest gift of all to be abused
So choose to lose the pride that may tug at you
Dont be afraid of the words I love you

<3

2 Corinthians 5

You make all things good
God of Wonder,
You turn my weakness into masterpiece
And I wonder
At the greatness of Your love for me
God of Wonder, what do You see in me?

I am Your delight
And You are my King
God of Wonder You make everything new
You make everything new
I lay myself down,
Knowing that I am Yours,
Dying to live every day just for You
You make everything new.

yours truly,

<3

jesse duplantis

omgoodness
he's one of my favorites ^_^

so i was just watching him for a couple of hours... so i have all of these lovely quotes i feel compelled to share... some are funny, some profound, some compelling.. some maybe more than one of those things. so yeah. woo.

"I can sound smart, but I prefer to sound Cajun" - JD

"Some people call me the apostle of joy... well I tried sad, I didn't like it" - JD

"Beware of people that love preeminence" - JD

"It's not what you eat [of the Word] that counts, it's what you digest." - JD

"If you don't see the end of it, don't start it" - JD

"Miracles, God works for you. Blessing, God works with you. ... He didn't give Adam a miracle, He gave him a blessing. ... If you're living in the Blessing, then you can make miracles for other people" - JD

"Without seed, you don't have a future. Your security is your seed." - JD

"Don't tell God what you have. He already knows what you have. Tell Him what you want." - JD

"You must be superior to power, not driven by it" - JD

"Believe the unbelievable, and receive the impossible." - JD


och, good stuff. theres so much more that i couldn't just put on my blog because theres context that has to go with it and by the time i try to explain it all you'd be better off just buying the cd. fo sho. West Coast Believers Convention 2008. do it.

and, since those are quotations and not strictly "verse", in keeping with my verse of the day thingy, i'll leave you with some actual verse.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments.
Love is not loveWhich alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Sonnet 116, Shakespeare
this sonnet deserves its own post i suppose.. and more than likely sometime it will get its own post. maybe even tomorrow. lol. and maybe it kindof clashes with this post... but oh well. it's my verse for today.

<3