Well. I didn't make Boxer callbacks. I didn't even do well in Boxer auditions. I find this upsetting. Actually it triggered a bit of a meltdown yesterday. It was.. unpleasant. But, I suppose, beneficial. After all, metal is stronger once it's been smelted, right? Anyway. I hate being inferior. But it gives me... quite a bit to work on. Not so much the how-to... but anyway. that wasn't my point. My point was that God and I had a nice long chat about the whole fiasco. Basically, I tend to be naturally good at things. Or if I'm not, I'm pretty quick to pick it up. I've never come across something I couldn't do. There's never been something I couldn't make better if I tried hard enough. I've never just been not good enough. But this came terribly close. And I didn't like it, not one bit. Theatre is the one thing in the world I'm most passionate about next to God and people, and it's the one thing in the world that doesn't come easily to me. And so I'm ranting all this at God, all the while freaking out, melting down, and God's just basically like. "well, duh. You can't do it without Me."
so that's basically where I'm at with all that. We worked it out, we made a plan, we made an agreement on how we're going to do this. I've got work to do :) and it started today. Today's been lovely. I haven't been able to fully become non-disappointed about The Boxer, and I'm struggling to muster some excitement for Dream auditions tomorrow... But it'll get better. I'm pushing forward.
<3
Living in My Mom's Car & Loving It
3 weeks ago
2 comments:
Don't feel too bad. My worst subjects are my majors. Science and math. I have to really apply myself to even get by in those.
I recently read Envy by Bob Sorge. One of the things he said is that God intentionally puts us at a particular place in the spectrum of giftings. He does it to teach us to handle both situations - people who are more gifted and those who are less (in whatever particular area).
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