Spring Fever

So that last post was a bit of a downer. An optimistic downer maybe, but still prety low. lol. Today's going to look up a bit.

My tax return is due today. It hasn't shown up yet, but I'm not going to freak about it unless it's still not here by tomorrow. That would be pretty not okay.

I still feel a bit of anxiety over money and debt issues. and by a bit, I mean.. sometimes it's really alot. I'm not much closer to paying off my car than I was before I took that awful crappy job at Pizza Hut. But I'm hanging in there, and mustering my faith for it. I don't really know how to use my faith for finances, but I suppose I'm in as good a time and place to learn as anyone could ask for,huh? May as well get started... Lord, help me...

so all this restlessness I've been feeling lately, that's been causing all this trouble, I realized this morning bears all the telltale characteristics of Spring Fever. It's a new season, everything's blossoming, and I feel like I'm not. I feel like things should be changing so it drives me crazy when they just stay the SAME. also, it's twitterpation season. As my old english prof used to say, "it's that season when you all break up with your boyfriends" lol. Except, despite occasional frustrations, I just like Mark more :) but even that has a little flavor of spring fever. Everything's blossoming, and i get all crazy and want to be together all the time, which can have kindof a smothering effect. Hey don't judge me this is my blog! I'm just being honest, embarrassing though it is...

I'm ready for summer though. I'm ready to do things. I'm ready for experiences like DYA to be here for my to give my attentions to. I'm ready to not be in lewisville, or freaking fort worth. I'm ready to have a life where I don't have to plan hours ahead just to see anybody. I'm ready to be living my own life, doing things that make sense, not spending 90% doing things and going places that I don't have any interest in just because I'm stuck doing it!! please can I fast forward just three months? please??

you see what things are like inside my head right now? raging mad. Well you know what spring? you can take your feverish restlessness, and you can suck it. That's right. SUCK IT.